Feeling Shunned by the Prim Community?

Then check out why I Bid the Prim Community Adieu. You are NOT alone.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

I Bid the Prim Community Adieu

This is something that has been very painful for me the past several weeks. I don't know what it is about me, but as a whole, the prim community does not like me or anything I have to offer. Please, please, don't think this post is intended to those of you who have supported me, commented, emailed kind words to me, etc. I think - at least I hope - you know who you are. Rather, this is intended to the community at large.

What I have found in talking with others is that if you're not 100% prim, you don't exist. Why? My gosh, I've even read comments from prim-sters who scoff at the country look - as if people who like country decor are the lowest of the low. Wow...just wow! Be a little more tolerant, people. The world doesn't need any more judgmental, self-righteous people.

Some of you - at least the three winners of my last giveaway here - knew that I was getting saddened by the lack of support. In fact, the winners are the ONLY ones who even bothered to comment on my post declaring them winners. How absolutely rude to them...even if you were trying to get a rather pointed message to me. I see congratulatory comments on all the other giveaway posts, but none on the last one. That pretty much told me right there that y'all were so relieved you didn't win - lol! Of course, most of you didn't even sign up, and that's fine. I know I suck to most of you in the prim world.

I tried to offer (for FREE, as a VOLUNTEER) so much to the prim community, such as writing newsletters, posting twice a day on a couple forums' blogs since they wanted their forums and blogs to grow. I did the twice daily, keyword rich postings on my Sunburnt Cow Handmade Shop and Handmade Teddy Bears and Raggedies. Those two blogs are now on Google's pages one and two for certain important keywords. I wanted to do this for those two forums, but the admins either didn't support me or couldn't even be bothered to give me a response (despite my follow up private messages). Wow, just wow. So okay...I suck to y'all. Fine.

But I had hopes that the prim community would at least support the Udderly Amazing New Shop Contest. After all, it wouldn't be supporting me, but new artisans. But I guess since my name is attached to it...icky pooh - lol!

Ah well...

So with these things that have been going on for the past several weeks and seeing people having plenty of time to support other people's endeavors, yes, I do have to take this personally. So I'm picking up my marbles and going home.

I will still continue this blog, but it will be spotlighting blogs I've recently discovered that revolve around prim, country, romantic, vintage, etc. I'll also post all kinds of giveaways that I've found. So yes, this blog will continue, but under a different guise.

Edited to add: I posted a follow up to this post.

Additionally, some people seem to think I wrote this because I didn't get enough comments on my blogs or on forums. If you think this way, try to re-read the two posts with an open mind. You will see I wrote NOTHING of the sort! If you prefer to think that I'm an attention whore and get my feelings easily hurt, then by all means, if that makes you feel better about yourself to believe that, go for it, but it's not my reality, nor is it many other people's experience with the prim community at large. As it is, I'm so thankful for those who have actually READ and UNDERSTOOD these two posts. I'm also thankful for those who have shared their hurtful stories of the prim community through comments and emails.


  1. Oh, I am so sorry this has been happening! I try to comment when I can, and there's alot of blogs that take forever for my computer to load and I am on dialup and when it takes forever, I always get the message that my server cannot find :( I love reading your blog and all you have to offer! I will continue to follow you and look forward to your posts and I try to visit other blogs that you are trying to help out.
    Many hugs, Trish

  2. Gosh...I hope I wasn't one of the people who offended you. :( I have linked up to several of your things.
    Personally, I don't have a specific style. I love the prim look, but wouldn't say that I embrace it 100%! LOL
    My style borders on "early thrift store" and "whatever hides the clutter"!!
    Take care!

  3. O poo! I am so sadden to hear this! I haven't been able to get on to blog too much with my move and all. But wow! I am so blown away about your experiences with other prim artisans. I am so sorry other people have given you a sour taste in your mouth. But I always loved your ideas and ways to help other artists get noticed. I was just thinking about emailing you to see if your offer to me was still good. :( I am so sad for you to feel the way you do. I don't think you are icky. And about thoses forums. I know how you feel. But don't let them get to you.

    ~*Big Hugs*~


  4. I am sorry to hear you were treated so poorly , that is very discouraging to a new blogger such as myself! I wish you the best of luck in whatever endeavor you choose ! And will still stop by and say hello , that is if it's ok with you? Breathe and Try to not take it so personal , the world is full of enough cruelty , just be proud of you and what you do ! Enjoy your weekend!
    lil raggedy angie

  5. Tracy,

    Just be yourself.... don't worry about fitting in. I sure don't. I decorate in shabby chic/country/primitive. My raspberry lemonade bedroom walls atest to that! LOL! I decorate how I like with a mish-mash of styles...things that are comfortable to me.

    I don't always comment on all the blogs I follow every post but do try to comment at least once in awhile. Some days the hours just fly by and I just run out of time.

    Sorry you are feeling down. Sending a hug your way.


  6. Oh, I think you are letting a few bad apples spoil it for you. I, personally, cannot do 100% prim. I love it all but for me, personally, I am happy to live in the present. And I am happy to live in America where I am free to choose whatever I want to do. I am not an artist. I do not sell anything. I do not advocate for any groups. I do not belong to any groups. I just try to find the good in everyone. I do not accept or pass on any awards. I follow almost 400 blogs and no one can possibly read them all. Luckily they don't all post daily. I have numerous friends that I have never met. I don't post all that often myself. I guess that we all have to accept other people for what they are, knowing the only thing we can change is ourselves. If someone disrespects you, avoid them. The rest of the blog world shouldn't be punished for the mistakes of a few. Remember that everyone is free to choose what they want to love and to do and that includes you!

  7. Wow!!I have felt that way recently, like I didn't really belong to the Prim community. But it wasn't because of what other people have done. It is more about my change in decorating ideas. I've never been a true prim fanatic because I love more color in my rooms. I have been going more towards the shabby cottage style but they use too much white. So where do I belong? Dunno! Don't care! I just try to keep myself happy & not worry about what others want. You should try that (that's not meant as a snippy remark but a "don't worry , be happy " kind)
    I find that there are so many blogs that I 'follow' now that I can't possibly comment on every one. Even though I do try to read them all. It is even starting to feel a little overwhelming trying to keep up with each one.
    I took a month or so away from blogging just to get my bearings. LOL So I hope I wasn't one of those that didn't leave a congrats to your winners.
    Sorry, didn't mean to write a book here.
    Maybe we all just have the wintertime blahs and things will be cheerier when it warms up a bit.?
    Here's another HUG coming your way! SMILE


  8. I don't want any of you to feel like it's you. In fact, I don't think the people I'm thinking about will even come here anymore - lol!

    But your words of just doing your own thing, to heck with what others say/think is good advice; something I'm trying hard to do. I've never been good at that; perhaps I need to try harder.

    That, and staying away from prim forums.


  9. Hi there Tracy. I'm really sorry to see that you are disillusioned about this whole mess, I know what you mean. I'm not a big commenter and I certainly know what you mean about some blogs... However, I have been blogging for 2 years now and have just reached 90 followers. I rarely get comments, oh..maybe 1 or 2 most of the time. I realized that I am blogging for me, not for them. If there is something I want to share, I blog. I have relatives that I never see that keep up with me life through my blog too. I almost pulled the pin a couple times and then re-thought the issue and figured this is my on-line diary, I have a lot of time and energy invested in it and I enjoy doing it. I have made some wonderful blog buddies, just a handful, but I am grateful for them and just go on with it for my own reasons.
    As far as prim goes..don't even think about it!! I have been married for 39 years, I'm not about to give up some things that don't "fit in" with my decorating. I have antiques, old junk, primitive, and just downright eclectic. Keep on blogging, you add a lot to the community and are probably visited a lot more than you realize. I didn't see a Feedjit on your page... Hang in there hon, just enjoy the ride and do it for your own reason. Hugs :)

  10. Sorry, to hear about you leaving us, i am not a big commenter but by the looks of the comments above alot enjoy your blog so you should keep it the same as its always been and continue to do what you enjoy and nevermind the negativity.

  11. HI! Thanks for visiting me during the UBP! I like the name of your blog.
    I'm not sure what prim is. I like country too. But style is whatever i find, and if i like it ill use it.
    Have a great day!

  12. Well!!!! I have been in and out...I don't sale anything yet...but have fun making and giving away...I like prim and I have some primitive items that I love...I love the look some people have with all prim...but all prim is not for me either!!!! I love some color and I love a little country and a little shabby!!! I don't think I could ever just have one style!!! I like to shake it up a bit well a lot!!!! I also love cutsie little things sitting around!!!! I think your new way will be great!!!! hugs

  13. Im with everyone else....dont let people bother you....do your own thing. I dont always post or comment but I do read and I love everyones individuality....if we were all the same it would be pretty boring!

  14. What a bummer! I hadn't heard of prim before this post. Personally, I am more of a blog stalker, giving comments here and there and never looking at giveaway pages. I cannot keep track of who I need to check back with to see if I win so I don't bother.....I hear what you are saying though. I am totally into horses and dogs but cannot stand the kind of people who make it their life, ie; dog breeders, horse shows and clubs, etc. Again with the snobby, self righteous, know-it-all (I could go on for days) people. Just know that its not you that they don't like, you're just another rung in their ladder of people who they step on to get to where they want to be. It's everywhere....... just be true to yourself and F**k them.
    Also, check out this site - http://www.craftmba.com/
    I think that I had found the link on Etsy recently. This was a real eye opener to me. Look on the Categories sidebar and read the articles related to branding.

  15. Hi Tracy,
    First you need to know that you are appreciated by many folks, especially because you are taking the time to write about so many artisan's work. I will be honest to say that I'm not a 100% primitive fan, but I do enjoy seeing other people's work, even the very prim. Why, because that is their art and I love seeing different kinds of work. Take care and don't forget - there are many of us out there that truly appreciate you.


  16. Tracy,
    I'm so sorry that people haven't treated you well. I've been a follower for a while now of your blog and have always enjoyed it. I'm not much of a commenter and don't enter giveaways just because I'm fairly new to blogging and don't understand all of the post the link on your blog, put it in a sideboard, ect...I have no idea how to do those things so I rarely even comment but I do enjoy reading them all. I'm not 100% prim because I just can't afford it but I do love the homey look of prim and as some would shudder....country! I hate to see change anything about you just to fit in with other people! Dang, thought we'd all outgrow that behavior after we got out of high school.

  17. Hi Tracy,
    First off let me say, I am so sorry that anyone do or say anything that would make you feel less than.
    Because that certainly isn't true.
    You are wonderful just the way you are.
    If anyone can't see that, it is their loss not yours.
    I agree with the other posts here.
    Blog for yourself.
    If others don't like it, well, who cares.
    At least that is the way I feel.
    I know sometimes my blog is all over the place.
    When I first started it, it was all about my house and the decor.
    But how many times can I show off a room without becoming redundant.
    Because they way my life has been over the last year, I haven't had time to tweak and change things.
    So I have found my blog lately, to be a place just to talk and voice something's out that are rumbling in my head.
    I'm sure some out there are bored with my post. I know I am bored with them at times. Lol!
    Sorry, I'm getting off track here...
    All I can say is just be you!
    As for comments, I find they come and go.
    Sometimes I get a lot of comments, sometimes only a couple.
    But I know, that is just the way it goes.
    People might not have something to say or they could just be busy, and trying to get caught up on all the blogs they follow.
    Yes, I would love it if all my followers would comment on every post I make. ;)
    But I certainly understand that it will never happen.
    I know just like me, it is not always possible. Life gets in the way.
    I know, I'm babbling here. Sorry about that.
    I hope things get better, I can't stand the thought of someone hurting you.
    Take care,

  18. Hello Tracy dear - I was away this weekend, and was saddened to see your post tonight. It certainly expresses the hurt and frustration you have experienced...but rest assured that you are appreciated by many of us. The time and effort you have put into writing and contests has not gone unnoticed by some, and I dare say most people. I am sorry that you have been hurt...and my heart goes out to you...but most people that visit my blog don't comment on a regular basis...sometimes there really isn't too much to comment on...what interests me doesn't always interest other people, and that's okay too. I'm not 100% prim either, and my home is a mostly a mix of different decorating styles...I love color too much to go totally prim...so you are not alone in that thinking. You really shouldn't have to fit into someone else's mold - just be yourself! I know nothing I say can help the hurt, but please do stay in touch. Bless you! *HUGS*

  19. Hi Tracy... Girl, I think you should stick around, I appreciate all you have done. And, I can see that others do as well. I blog because I enjoy blogging, it's fun. Don't let anyone take the fun out of it, do what you love and love what you do. If someone doesn't like your style, so be it, they have the right to like what they want and so do you.

    I have met soooo many wonderful people in the prim blogland that we share, don't let a few ruin it for you.

    Blessings, Traci

  20. Ouch! I have been feeling this way too in the prim world . Seems like country has no place anymore. The prim stuff has always been so contrived to me anyway.Living here in Maine and seeing what folks out west portray living crudely is like ,well it seems false.But they live in condos and new houses so I can see their need to scale back the just built look.
    I have enjoyed participating in sharing the love. I feel I have grown a lot in the blog world , I thank you for that
    I came over to your blog this morning cause I found a blog that you might like to share.
    Now I have to go cause it is lightning out and the power just flicked
    Chin up good friend

  21. Hi Tracy! I am sad to hear what you have been going through.. I decorate with what I like, it's not all prim, some shabby, just whatever I find that I like... Just be yourself and those that matter will still be there! I have just recently been blessed by talking with you and following your blogs. I hope you stick around! You would be missed.

  22. Hi Tracy... I don't know what to say except to encourage you (as others have) to do what you love. You have certainly broadened my perspectives and introduced me to some lovely people on the blog, some of which have commented here on your post. I don't think I could ever fit what I do into a certain style. I've tried and it destroys my creativity. You've become what I consider to be my friend here, and I treasure that. Take care! Vicki

  23. Hi Tracy, I'm sorry you feel so unhappy with the prim world. The prim flowers you sent me are sitting in the vase you made on top of my piano. I added the one prim flower I made and a little bird to the arrangement.

  24. Hi Tracy! It really saddens me to hear what you have been going through but I think you should stick around. I'm not totally primitive. I'm more of what you would call ecollectic. I have all different styles mingled together. I like it and that's all that matters. Everyone has their own style which makes them so unique. No one should ever be negative to another ones style. It just shows you how shallow they really are.

    I don't comment on all the blogs I follow. I do try to comment at least once in awhile. There's just not enough hours in the day to do it all. I do try to read what I can.

    Big Hugs,

  25. So sorry to hear this Tracy....I certainly am not all primitive either and who cares...I love being versatile...We're all different....that's what makes us unique...It would be so boring if we were all the same. I love shabby chic, english country, and most definitely bright bold colors....in addition to prim stuff...I try to stay away from the scary prims...lol...Keep your head up and be proud of who you are!

  26. Love ya girl and I say to heck with them all. You are amazing, talented, generous to a fault and if they can't see that they don't deserve you. I'm sorry you feel so badly; do what YOU like, do what YOU want to do and those of us who know you and appreciate you will follow wherever you lead. Big {{hugs}} friend, their loss is our gain and I can't wait to see where you go and what you do next! Deb

  27. Tracey,

    I am sorry you've had a bad experience. I just do my own thing and if it doesn't fit in,...it fits me!

    I appreciate the story you did on the cookhouse, it was very well written and it made me feel good that the 'world' was peeking through my window a bit.

    Try not to be discouraged and hang on.


  28. I just found your blog through Gen...and I have to tell you that this happened to me several months ago. One blogger want so far as to tell me that she took me off her blog list becausing I was pretending to be a primitive blog when I wasn't. You were either primitive or you were not. I never said that I was a primitive blog...I just love country decorating. I'm a little prim, a little country cottage, and a little junkie style. I love it all!!
    After this bloggers comment...several folks stopped leaving me comments. It upset me so much that I almost stopped blogging. I left some forums too and stopped reading several primitive blogs.
    I'm sorry to hear that this has happened to you too.

  29. Tracey, just be yourself, do what you love, and love what you do. I never enter give aways, blog stuff, mainly because I don't know how, and I never win, so why bother? lol
    Don't give up if you love blogging and forums. Somedays on forums people talk more than others/ M advice is to keep on keeping on.

  30. Tracey, being new to the blog world I kind of get it too. I try to tell myself that it all takes time of course & that I myself follow so many different blogs that I don't have enough time to seriously follow them all up to date. I guess the feeling I have sometimes gotten from certain bloggers is that it is maybe a bit of a click? But I can say that I am doing this for myself more than anything! I don't have any friends that follow my prim passion so this helps me to share it with others that do. If someone has a blog that I leave a comment on I comment to share my same love for the same things...it's okay to not get a comment back or have them follow mine...I enjoy the time I spend looking and love it! Financially I cannot afford to be out shopping very often as unfortunately the economy has hit my family hard this past couple of years. This has stopped me from posting certain pics because my home isn't "done" (went victorian for awhile & now going back to prim these last few years)and not as wonderful as so many that I see. It can be discouraging because so many people seem to have an easier time being able to afford all those wonderful things when I just get by with being able to afford groceries for the week sometimes. But I know I am not alone & feel happy for those that are so blessed by so much and all the blessing I have that money cannot buy....Everyone has different reasons & thoughts & ideas....don't feel bad to be who you are!! I wouldn't give up or give in...do what you want for yourself & what feels good to you! I just came across your blog through another and added myself as a follower...may not always post regularly but just know that there will be many of us who are there!! I am also going to post this to my own blog as a sign of support. Best of luck & hopes for inner happiness....that's all that matters!!!! Blessings ~Kriss~

  31. I read this with a lot of interest! I have a WHOLE BLOG LIST category on my sidebar and it used to have 10 times more blogs but I commented and showed interest on blogs and they never came back and commented on mine. Finally I started deleting them one by one. I lost interest in being excited over what they had made or their decorating when I never received a comment or response....even though I saw they were responding to each other. I didn't know this was a close knit group but I also felt the same way with the quilters I liked to follow. But I'm pretty easy going...I just keep going! Hugs to you my friend for speaking out. I thought it was just me! heehee! ♥♥♥

  32. Hi Tracy, I agree with everyone in that you should do what makes you happy. I'm still new to the blog world I feel, I have alot I try to follow but my home life and kids take most of my time so I don't get to as often as I'd like. I still can't figure out the posting links and giveaways on my side bar! I've meet some nice people, and don't get comments very often but it's all good cause I don't post everyday either. Sorry you were made to feel this way :( Just keep doing what you like, I myself like many styles, like the music I listen to- it's a variety. Hope you have a Blessed day~HUGS~
    Jen~The Olde Willow~

  33. Wow...where the heck was I during all of this? Oh my dear friend...you have all the support in the world it looks like so don't be discouraged.
    With the amazing support you have shown me and my family over the past few weeks, I'm more than happy to be there for you!

    You work your butt off for so many of us bloggers and as you can see, we all appreciate it so very much so try to remember that.

    There's obviously a good mix of us here...and that's all that matters!

    Love ya!

  34. I am here through your cottage charm giveaway. I have read your post with great interest. I understand completely about feeling under-appreciated, or invisible. Keep your chin up!

    and BTW, what's a "prim"?

    smiles and hugs,

  35. I enjoy your blog and its not worth the stress what others think. Do what you want to do here. You have followers for a reason.